hahaha!!!
what a title...
okay!!!
lights!!!
camera!!!!
action nah!!!!
So.. Im here to talk tell you weird stories...
and when i say weird,
I mean "WEIRD"!!!!
Filipinos are the worst weird there is!!!!
hahaha....
they tell jokes at very heavy atmospheres!!!!
very weird...
buti sana kung "swak" sa timing...
but, hindi!!!!
hahahaha...
they are going to tell jokes... as in...
they're weird!!!
Knock knock...
whos there...????
ako maba....
ako maba who???
and you know...
ako maba who sounds like "ako mabaho"
which means, I smell bad or sort of...
and when you dnt laugh...
wahahaha...
theyre gonna make faces..
then you laugh...
Isn't that weird????
I mean....
you laughed not because of the joke but because of the weird expression...
Next....
The philippines has very expensive and very not affordable goods for mostly of the Filipinos...
*... so that's why some business are bankrupt... (they can't even buy the goods they sell) Oh, what the heck!!!...*
anyway...
And just a while ago...
the gas, foods, flour aND etc... prices went up...
and oh my gosh...
now theyre telling jokes about this!!!!
isnt it weird???
theyre laughing about their own problems while others....
are HAVING A STRIKE!!!!
hahaha!!!!
well...
this is how the joke go....
Lahat na lang ng bilihin tumaas....
gasolina.... tumaas
pagkain.... tumaas
harina...... tumaas
LPG Tanks... tumaas
ETC.... tumaas
pero....
iisa lang ang hindi pa nataas.....
"Si Gloria"....
wahahahah....
and Just so You Know....
Gloria...
IS OUR PRESIDENT!!!!!
for Pete's sake....
isn't that called Discriminating....
and its like.... theyre laughing...
*... obviously, the first time I heard it.. I was laughing Really HARD!!!...*
and come to think of it....
It really is true....
but do you think its right... ????
What the heck!!! Just continue spreading it...
Its funny....!!!!
Next....
And there's this joke about pilosopos....
hahah...
theyre funny....
but most filipinos like that joke...
so read it...
Si Pedro at Cardo after the exam.
Cardo: Perdo, nahirapan ka ba sa questions sa exam?
Pedro: Hindi!
Cardo: Ang galing mo naman!
Pedro: Nahirapan ako sa answers!
what can I say....????
Pedro really is a wise man....
hahaha....
Next....
And just to add jokes about the pilosopos....
Inay: Bakit ngaun ka lang anung oras na ah?
Anak: uhmm... 9:30 na po....
Inay: Aba't pilosopo kang bata ka ah... san mo natutunan yan?
Anak: Sa inyo po...
Inay: Halika dito!
Anak: Saan po dyan?
(pinapalo ni inay si anak)
Inay: Luko kang bata ka... kailan ka pa natutong mamilosopo....?
Anak: Kanina lang po.
Inay: Aba! Lumayas ka na nga dito!
Anak: Kelan po.
Inay: Hayop kang bata ka!
Anak: Ano po aso, pusa?
Well...
this isnt the real version...
in my own words nga lang kasi....
pero pagnahanap ko ung orig version...
ieedit ko ito kaagad...
hehehe...
Next...
Now these are corny Jokes....
and its funny...
Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
--Miguel: H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo
--Miguel: H....O....R...
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
--Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig...
hahaha.....
So why did the teacher asked Miguel to hurry???
Is she in a rush????
Ow well...
*...btw one of my past crushes is MIGUEL.... but not necessarily this Miguel...*
Next...
Ano ang hayop na hindi sigurado? - Baka
Baka in english means MAYBE..
and at the same time COW...
hehehehe...
Ano ang hayop na pinuputol? - Cat
Pinuputol means Cut.....
CUT is rhyming with CAT...
Ano ang hayop na laging ayos? - Ox
OX is rhyming with OKS...
and OKS is just a shortened form of OKAY....
Which means ayos...
hahaha....
Next...
This is a joke for A FATHER AND SON PACT (we can say it as just a promise....)
Beer dad,
Gin na ko mag-iinom whisky kelan. Tanduayan mo yan.
Your son,
Miguel. (ayos pare!!)
Translation:
Dear Dad,
Hindi na ko mag-iinom miske kelan. Tandaan mo yan.
Your Son,
Migueal (ayos pare!!!)
wahahaha,...
another Migueal on the road!!!!
hahah....
he obviously don't mean the letter...
hahaha...
silly miguel...
Why did he wrote this in the first place???
WEIRD!!!
Next...
This is really weird!!!
And do you know why????
well...
coz its all true and its almost freaky!!!!
Ways To Know You Are A Filipino
1. You point with your lips
2. You nod upwards to greet someone.
3. You collect items from hotels or restaurants "for souvenir".
4. You smile for no reason.
5. You flirt by having a foolish grin in your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly.
6. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
7. You add an unwarranted "H" to your name, i.e. "Jhun," "Bhoy," "Rhon."
8. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
9. You like everything imported or "state-side."
10. You Check the labels on clothes to see where it was made before buying.
11. You always offer food to all your visitors.
12. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
13. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
14. You asked for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
15. You asked for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just "pen."
16. You order a McDonald's instead of "hamburger"(pronounced ham-boor-jer)
17. You say "Ha?" instead of "What."
18. You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention.
19. You answer when someone yells "Hoy."
20. You turn around when someone says "Psst!"
21. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
22. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for over acting, or "TNT" for, well, you know.
23. You say "air con" instead of "a/c" or air conditioner.
24. You say "brown-out" instead of "black-out."
25. You have a portrait of "The Last Supper" hanging in your dining room.
26. You own a Karaoke System.
27. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
28. You own a "barrel man" (you pull up the barrel and you see something that looks familiar. schwing...)
29. You refer to your VCR as a "beytamax
30. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging somewhere in the dining room
31. Your car has too many "burloloys" like a Jipneys back in P.I.
32. You hang a Rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
33. You order a "soft drink" instead of a "soda."
34. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"
35. This you 'll agree 100% ... Goldilocks" means more to you than just a character in a fairytale.
Isnt it weird???
and who ever calls DVD BEYTAMAX?????
What is a barell man
hey i dnt have a karaoke system in our house...'
and wait...
I do have a piano but i play it!!! well sometimes...
I have an organ na kasie eh...
and YOUR RIGHT!!!
Goldilocks isnt just a fairytale to us filipino....
most children here refer goldilocks ad a fast food chain....
they sell cakes and stuffs...
but my favorite is brownies...
they make good ones...
try it yourself...!!!
we dont have a giant spoon and fork...
thats eweeeeewwwwwww....
there is a last supper in the dinning room...
there is a rosary in the rear view mirror...
And...
hahaha...
We ask for Colgate in stores...
but we get close-up in return....
isnt that WEIRD!!!?????
Next...
MR DANILO: "I am your teacher, I am good in three languages."
PIKAW: "What are the subjects you're good at?"
MR DANILO: "Oh, I like Math and English."
PIKAW: "How do you say 'good morning' in Algebra?"
That's very Weird!!!
You even call this a joke....
Its not funny at all...
This joke is very very "Irritating"
NEXT PLEASE!!!!
Actual store names in Metro Manila believe it or not:
Ali Baka (Shawarma)
Anita BakeryActual store names in Metro Manila believe it or not:
Beefer 150 ( Meat Shop )
Common Cents Store ( Sari-sari Store )
Crispy per minute ( Crispy Pata Eatery )
Curl Up And Dye ( Beauty Salon )
Doris Day And Night
Elizabeth Tailoring
Farmacia With Love ( A Drugstore )
Felix the Cut ( Barber Shop )
Goldirocks ( Gravel & Sand Shop )
Labo Optical
Mane Attraction ( Beauty Parlor )
Meating Place ( Meat Shop )
Memory Drug ( A Mercury Drug Clone )
Nacho Fast ( Nachos To Go )
Passers Buy ( Convenience Store )
R. Maramot Leasing (A Batangas Co.)
Saudia Hairlines ( Beauty Salon )
Scissors Palace ( Barber shop )
Second Time Around ( Second Hand Watch Store )
TapSi TurBi ( Tapa, Sinangag, Turon at Bibingka
The Way We Wear ( Boutique )
Wash & Carry ( Laundromat )
MacDonuts ( Donut Shop )
Mat & Jeep ( Jeep Accessories Shop )
Mercy Buko ( Fresh Coconut Roadside Shop )
Pizza Hot ( Pizza Place )
Your Best Vet ( Veterinary Clinic )
I saw this bakery in Project 6. It's called Bread Pitt.
My friend saw a sign infront of a 7-11 Convenience store being built. It says "sorry for the inconvenience"
Lito...Lapida Maker!
King Tuckee's Fried Tsiken....
Jullibee's wonder Chicken...
Cheeny's Roasters...
"original 1935 pandesal for sale" - A pandesal shop in aurora boulevard
"cinavon" -- with matching cinema film type logo laundromat
Mang Donalds - burger shop in pasig town proper
Cooking ng ina mo - on a carinderia
Cooking ng ina mo rin - right across cooking ng ina mo
We make modern and antique furnitures - along a highway in Pampanga
On the Ofc door of Atty. Domingo Carriedo fr. Cebu: the sign says, Notary Public Tumatanggap din po ng labada tuwing Linggo.
Ow...
this ones good...
hahaha....
Whoever wants to go in this place...????
YOURE RIGHT!!!
FILIPINOS!!!
Coz theyre weird...
hahaha....
Lito Lapida Maker....???
hahaha...
Is the owner Lito LApid????
The way we wear????
Is that a song...???
Second Time around??????
Whats that????
Pangalawang orasan sa tabi-tabi????
hahaha...
now Im talking weird....
hahaha....
its second hand....
maybe the watches are sort of with dead skin....
if you know what i mean...
well....
this is just for fun and laughs....
so...
This was not done to harm or offend you....
Next...
PINOY-TAGALOG DIKSYONARYO
Contemplate - kulang sa pinggan
Punctuation - pera pang enroll
Tenacious - tennis shoes
Ice Buko - ayos ba ang buhok ko?
Calculator - tawagan kita mamaya
Devastation - sakayan ng bus
Protestant - tindahan ng prutas
Statue - ikaw ba iyan?
Tissue - ikaw nga!
Predicate - pakawalan ang pusa
Aspect - pantusok ng yelo
Defeat - ang paa
Deduct - ang pato
Detail - ang buntot
Deposit - ang gripo
City - siete
Persuading - first kasal
Depends - bakod
Shampoo - sampu
Profit - patunayan mo
CD Rom - tingnan mo ang kuwarto
July - nagsinungaling ka ba?
hahaha...
isnt this funny....
Weird!!!!!
hahahah....
filipinos are speaking very fluent in english and tagalog....
Next...
Uhm....
try to read this with feelings...
hehehe...
read it the chinese style...
Chinese (on his deathbed): Akyen panganay (hingalo)...anjan ka ba?
Panganay: Opo (sabay ang iyak), hu-hu-hu...
Chinese: Akyen junior (hingalo)..anjan ka ba?
Junior: Opo (sabay ang ngawa)...nga-nga-nga...
Chinese: Akyen asawa... (hingalo)...anjan ka ba?
Asawa: Narito ako (sabay ang maraming luha)...
Chinese (biglang mulat ang mata): Wakangaaa!...Baki lahat kayo dito? Sino bantay tindahan?!!!!!
hahahaha...
Next...
Juan: Pare, sa'n ka galing?
Pedro: Sa sementeryo, libing ng biyenan ko.
Juan: Bakit marami kang kalmot sa mukha at braso?
Pedro: Mahirap ilibing, lumalaban.
hahaha...
burrying alive the mother-in-law....
if its a burden to you...
hahaha...
that IS funny...
Next...
hahaha..
this is full of MENS...
bahala ka....
kung anung Mens ang ibig kong sabhin...
Ano'ng tawag sa kapwa texter: ka-Playtex, ka-Kotex, or ka-Newtex? I-Whisper mo naman sa akin, o.
ahhahaha....
So...
this will be the end of the weird things....
hahah...
there's lots more out there....
but youre alone digging it....
hahaha....
just a quote!!!!
He WhO LaUgHs LaSt 
...ThInKs SLoWeSt!
HEHEHEHE!!!!!!
And Guys!!!
I'm also weird!!!!
I laugh at this jokes!!!!
I'm PROUD TO BE A FILIPINO!!!!
We are the worst weird ever!!!
AND CUT!!!!
hahahah!!!!!
Good Take!!!!
~Jaa....
~Buh-bye!!!!
WAAAAAAAA....
My hankie....
anyways.....
this is what happened....
kasi kanina....
sa cr ng shool....
naihi ako....
hawak ko ung panyo ko....
and nung tinataas ko na ung aking pants....
(hawak ko ung haniie ko)
*hey! dn't thnk about nasty stuffs!!!!*
un...
nahulog ung hankie ko....
so kanina....
pawis na pawis na ako....
*ang init kSi....
wala akong maipampahid....
hmpf....
un lang,....
hehehe,...
~~~Jaa
waaaa......
You won't believe what just happened kanina at school....
as in....
I was like.... WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nagkaron ng biglaang inspection at school....
and OMG!!!
I always bring my cell....
so....
I just hoped our class will not be inspected...
kasi 2 lucky sections lang ang iinspectionan.....
so......
Nakita ko si Sir Siyangbigay... (Prifect of Descipline namin....)
*what a name.....*
pero teka.....
aun na ako....
sumigaw xah sa corridor and I was like at shock....
*what's new diba.....????*
hehehe......
lagi kasi ung nasigaw....
nalaman ko na mag iinspect na xah sa 2 2nd year rooms....
eh nagkataon.....
2 sections are at the field....
*5 sections lang kaming pang-am session eh....*
so 3 na lang.... isa kami dun...
waaaaa.....
ung isa eh busy.....
soooo.....
waaaa.....
natapos na xah mag inspect dun sa isa....
KAMI NAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
waaaaaaaaa.........
nag inspect muna xah ng buhok ng guyz.....
tapos sabi samin....
Officers... search your classmates bag!!!!
HUWAT??????
waaaaa....
so we were all in shock...
kasi lahat ng officers namin ay may dala din eh.....
hehehe....
wawa naman ako....
sigaw ni sir....
DON'T MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANG IIBO AY PATATAYUIN SA HARAP BUONG PERIOD!!!!!
waaaa.... so....
kht gs2 ko nang itago ung cell ko.....
*para di makita... hindi ko naman ginagamit... patay nga eh....*
ung iba nga samin nangalay eh....
nakaslouch kasi sila eh....
napaka-uncomfortable ng position nila....
pero they took it literally....
aun di nga umibo....
pati ung mga kamay na nakalutang sa air....
hahaha.... suspended sa air....
hahaha....
anu kaya un!!!!
ENGERZ!!!!!!
so... aun nasamsaman ako....!!!!
pero nasakin pa rin...hehehe.....
1st offense pa rin kasi....
kaya after classes eh....
kinuha na rin namin....
pero i checked the guide lines.....
there are some awards na di ko na pwedeng ma-recieve dahil may record of misconduct nah!!!!
buhuhuhuhu....T_T.....
Kokey lang!!!!!
hahaha.....
Pinyoko!!!!
*matatapos na nga pala un....*
Malilimutan din naman nila un eh.....
sana mawala nila ung record....
hehhe....
and i think para sa 3rd years and 4th years lang naman un....
so... saved pa cguro ako ngaung 2nd year....
hehehe....
so starting tom.....
di ko na dadalhin ang cell ko....
buhuhuhuh.... T_T....
next week pa man din ay sports fest na....
buhuhuhu...!!!!!!
ngek.....
geh~~~~
Jaa~~~~
OMG!!!! ung post ko kanina.....
alam nio bang di ko pa xa nakikita.....!!!!
d ko man lang maview......
napost ko nga....
di ko nman maview....
nakanaman......!!!!
page cannot be displayed nanaman eh....
di ko pa nga nalalagyan ng color eh....
hehehe....
So by the way....
I watched this movie....
and i was shoked.....
4 guys....
Doutel (means Virgin)
and OMG....
as in....
tlagang sinasamba nila ung CONDOMS!!!!
as in....
bakit naman nila un sasambahin....
BAKIT????
grabeh....
kung ako naman sa kanila....
kung ayaw na nilang maging virgin pa....
eh dapat.....
di sila nagdadala nun para di sila mahuli ng parents nila....
kaasar talaga un....
hindi na lang kasi bumili ng condoms dun sa pupuntahan nila diba...????
o kaya naman ay on the way.....
hay.....
BAKA!!!!!
hehehe....
pero dahil dun sa series na yun.....
nakita ko pwet ni Oguri Shun....
wahahahaha....
daig kau ano.....!!!!!
hahaha.....
Go DB4!!!!
In case you dont know what im talking about....
just watch Stand up in Crunchy Roll.....
11 ep xah....
ep 10 is in the last part of 9....
and the start of 11.....
hehehe....
be sure to watch ep 9 part 2.....
hehehe.....
buh-bye......
Hay..... Ewan ko ba...
Bkt ganun....????
Nakkasar na ung internet namin.....
alam nio bang simula nung dumating ako sa Phil....
di pa ko nakakapagbukas ni2ng blog ko.....
kasi naman eh.....
hindi ko mabuksan ung site....
laging 'page cannot be displayed'....
OMG!!!!!
hehehe.....
OMG!!!!!
May nabili na akong balang The Sims 2 para sa ds ko....
Nasa gitna na ako ng game....
eh ung pinsan ko ay naglalaro din.....
so sabi ko kaw muna.....
edi nilaro nia.....
tapos....
may nalimutan akong gawin....
so sinabi ko sa kanya na ako muna....
mabilis lng naman eh....
sinave ko ung kanya....
tapos ang napindot kong file eh ung akin....
nagduda ako....
ang alam ko....
kanya napindot ko....
tapos....
parang ang napindot ko ay kanya....
so...
nung tinanong kung gs2 kong i-overwrite.....
automatic ung kamay ko....
clinick ung check.....
waaaaaaaaa.......
pagtngin ko.....
wala na.....
napatungan na ung file ko ng file nia......
I was like....
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH......
bakt automatic ung kamay ko....
bkt di ko man lang napigilan.....
waaaaaaaaaaaa......
pero.....
la na koi magagawa tungkol dun eh......
so......
naglalaro na ako ng ibang game.....
hehehehe......
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
As all you know....
It was written by William Shakespeare during 1564-1616.....
Let me tell you the meaning of this.....
hehehehe..... (Nagpakapoetic)
It's all about love....
loving.....
and being loved.......
It means....
Love is not love when you forget that it is love.....
To explain it further.....
Like what Shakespeare said.....
Love is not removable and does not alters.....
You can't remove true love....
And it does not go away.....
It can never be changed....
It will always be the same.....
It's always there....
It is an ever-fixed mark.....
It will always be there no matter what....
Shakespeare compared love to a star....
A star guides the ship.....
Love guides the person in-love.....
It's worth is eternal.....
You can never sell it....
though....
sometimes....
you're wondering what it's worth.....
Love goes with you until you're old.....
It does not base it's love by beauty.....
It loves like a honey...
sweet for the soul....
but never for the beauty....
It does not worship your face....
It worships your heart.....
Even though your ugly.....
Love sees you like an ocean....
When ur not in water....
you'll think it's just an ordinary ocean....
but if you dive in it....
you'll see what the ocean really is....
The last 2 lines.....
Shakespeare stated....
if his point of view about love is wrong....
then....
no one ever experienced true love.....
As if asking us...
'Do you have any objections, thus, prove it'.....
hehehehe....
I'm a big POET!!!!!
hahahaha.....
tama ba ung interpretation koh....?
Nakuh baka mali.....
Oh My Gooshneck....!
Add comments....
para malaman ko kung tama....
It took me 2 hours to post this.....
kasi.....
ni-research ko pa ung mga meaning nia.....
para maintindihan ko din......
hahahaha....
di ko naintindihan ung sonnet nung una kong binasa eh....
hehehehe....
tapos nung naintindihan ko na.....
kwinento ko senyo ang naintindihan ko.....
hehehehe....
Hope u liked it.....
Hehehehehehe......
Hey! Hey! Hey!.....
There's a new show coming up.....
It's titled "The Closet"....
Currently.....
It has 4 episodes.....
We are not sure if we're going to make episode 5 the last episode.....
But please leave comments.....
You see.....
If people liked it.....
Then we're going to continue shooting it......
But if they don't.....
We'll end it up in Episode 5.....
So....
Please leave a comment.....
It will be coming this night.....
hope you will like it....
It will be showing in You tube.....
Again.....
May the people who already died 'Rest in Peace'....
in short....
Sumalangit nawa ang kaluluwa ng ga namatay.....
hehehehe......
Ei......
Guyz.....
I'm gonna tell u something......
Nung isang araw......
I was watching some kind of movie in the computer......
Then the toilet seat fell.........
I was like 'Oh My Goosebumps!'..........
And then......
I taught may tao sa banyo.....
Tapos hinintay ko syang lumabas.....
Wala namang lumabas......
Tapos ung ilaw ay sarado pa......
Sabi ko baka bukas ung bintana.....
Kasi ung bintana nasa likod lang nung toilet bowl......
Pero sa takot ko....
Di ko na tiningnan.....
Tapos.....
The kinabukasan nung day na un.....
Nung gabi na.....
Bumaba ako to see if somebody's downstairs.....
Tapos nung nasa may hagdanan na ako.....
Nakakita ako ng white light dun sa ilalim ng door papuntang garage.....
Tapos di na lang ako tumuloy at sabay akyat ko na lang.....
hehehe.....
Di pa dun nagtatapos......
Nung nag-blessing dito sa bahay na ito.....
Andami naming mga camera na pinipicturan lahat ng nangyayari.....
Then suddenly......
After viewing the pictures......
We saw a white something *they said it looks like a face of someone eh....* in the face of Tito Jomar....
Then I was like.... 'Oh My Goosebumps again!'..........
Bakit sa dami ng mga pictures na kinuha namin of him......
That white "thingy" had to ruin our family picture......
They said it was just a light.....
But when we took a closer look of it.....
It was some kind of a face nga eh......
But were not sure.....
Cause we taught napa-bless na naimn ung house....
Eh bakit lumabas sya.....
The day the father blessed the house?.....
That's a mystery.....
And what is that white "thingy" over there?.....
Is it the one behind all of my Goosebumps or meron pang iba?.....
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....................
Na-upload ko na that picture.....
With comparison pa.....
Spot the difference na lang......
Hehehehe......
Did you know.....
My bro just texted me....
sabi nia....
'.1 point na lang...... dean's lister na xah.....'
waaaaaa.....
.1 na lang.......
I cant believe it.....
1st time itong nangyari.....
ung magexcell xah sa school....
NANG WALA AKO SA TABI NIA......
waaaaaaaaaaaaa........
I'm not there to congratulate him........
buhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh.........
nakakaasar......
tapos I tried to call him today...
right after ma-recieve ko ung text message.....
and he wasn't even there to answer my call.....
sabi nung assistant namin sa house......
nag-eenroll daw xah.....
but he left 9am daw....
and it's already 12pm....
he's not yet at home....
siguro....
he's celebrating with his friends.....
waaaaaa.....
I'm not there....
buhuhuh....
Til then....
I'm gonna eat nah.....
hehehe....
buh-bye....
